You will start to feel sleepy…

January 19, 2012

I believe insomnia is on the increase. This study indicates more and more women are turning to sleeping pills.  More and more clients I see at my Cornwall hypnotherapy practice have a problem sleeping whether they have come to see me specifically for insomnia or not.  We are living life at such a pace our minds are spinning so fast they sometimes don’t slow down at night for us to rest.  Our busy minds keep us from sleeping.  I wanted to share some tips which you may find help you overcome insomnia and sleep more soundly:

  • Don’t sleep or nap during the day regardless of how tired you are, it disrupts the natural sleep rhythms.
  • Cut down on tea, coffee and alcohol at least 4 hours before bedtime.
  • Eat regular balanced meals at least four hours before bedtime – high carbohydrate meals e.g. pasta, potatoes or bread will help you to feel sleepy.
  • Do some exercise, but refrain from exercising too near to bedtime – have at least three clear hours between ending exercise and bedtime.
  • Give yourself permission to have ‘worry time’ during the day and definitely before going to bed.Use the time to turn the worry around – what is the positive intention behind the worry? Imagine a clear positive picture of what it is you want.
  • Have a warming bath at least 1 hour before bedtime as this will help raise the core body temperature. Once out of the bath the subsequent drop in core body temperature leads to sleepiness.
  • Bed is only for sleeping/making love – not for working, reading, watching TV or eating or any other pastime.
  • Try wiggling your toes for as long as it takes to make you feel sleepy (yes, it’s strange, but it can help!)
  • Another strange one but can help for those that have internal chatter keeping them awake.Try holding the tip of the tongue towards the roof of the mouth, without actually touching it. Leave it there for as long as you need to stop the internal chatter.
  • Dare yourself to stay awake! Instead of thinking ‘I have to sleep NOW’, keep the eyes open and try to make yourself stay awake. See how short a time you can do it for.
  • Go to bed only when you’re sleepy. If at any time you are in bed for more than 30minutes without feeling you are about to fall asleep, get up and do something really boring. Don’t do anything that the unconscious mind might take as a reward for not sleeping e.g. don’t eat, drink or do anything that you actually enjoy doing during the night. Otherwise your unconscious mind may equate waking with doing something nice, and then it is likely to repeat the pattern in following nights! Only return to bed once you feel sleepy again, making a clear association between bed and sleep.
  • Once in bed and to help you relax, spend 15-20 minutes tensing hard, and then relaxing, each of the major muscle groups, working through the body. Start at the toes and work upwards through the body. Take your time with this one to really feel the benefits.
  • This one is a bit hard-core, and you have to be committed to the process. This is a four week programme to reset the natural sleep patterns. Each night you can spend a maximum of 6 hours in the bedroom only during set hours eg. 1am – 7am (work it out depending on the time you want to wake up. During this time, the bedroom is only for sleep, and sleep must be only in the bedroom. At the pre-set time you must leave the bedroom regardless of whether you would be able to continue sleeping. It may take a while to see improvement – so stick with it.

I also thoroughly recommend you download my free relaxation mp3 download and listen to it in bed before going to sleep, ideally with headphones. Whether you have tried hypnotherapy or not you may be surprised how relaxing and enjoyable you find it.

You may even find, like a lot of my clients (who I give a personalised self hypnosis mp3 to listen to continue the good work of the session in-between sessions) find they do!  Most clients report that they sleep better regardless of what they came to see me for, a surprise added benefit they weren’t expecting!   Just think how much better you would feel if you overcome insomnia and had a deeper more refreshing sleep.

Sweet dreams!

 

By russell | Posted in health, relaxation tips, stress | Comments (2)

You should read this…

January 12, 2012

Do you ever say things to yourself like:

‘You stupid idiot- you should have known that would happen’

‘Oh no, I can’t believe I’ve done it again. I am so useless’

‘I should do more exercise’  or ‘I really should stop smoking’

Why is this voice so powerful and how does it have such a control over us?

Well, we tend to develop such a voice as a child as means of keeping us safe.   the worst thing that could happen to you as a child is to be rejected by the particular big people you rely on to care for you, like your parents, teachers, uncles, aunts and even older siblings and friends. This is actually part of a biological survival mechanism. Throughout nature, any animal who is rejected by its caregivers and forced to live outside the safety and comfort of the family or pack is liable to die, either of starvation or by being eaten by predators.

We have kept that primal instinct, to remain part of a tribe for security. Therefore, over time you started paying very careful attention to which behaviors got you love, approval and deeper acceptance into your own personal ‘pack’ or ‘tribe’ and which ones led to anger, rejection and possible banishment.

At the end of the day the voice in your head is just thought and you don’t have to entertain it.  Thoughts are an illusion. They create an illusion of reality that isn’t true.  It is only when you start entertaining the thoughts to do they hang around and grow and believe them. You can choose to let it go.  Thoughts come and go from your mind like clouds in a breeze if you let them.

I am not sure if you have seen the film ‘A Beautiful Mind’.  It is a true story about a brilliant mathematician John Nash who was plagues with mental health problems and eventually diagnosed with schizophrenia.  There is a wonderful scene at the end when he realises he no longer needs to even entertain the imaginary world his mind is creating.

What is your voice telling you?

1. Write down the words ‘I should…’ at the top of a sheet of paper.

2. Writing as fast as you can for two minutes, complete the sentence as many times as possible. (If you haven’t got at least
10, keep going until you do!)

3. Read through your list, replacing the words ‘I should’ with ‘I could’ or ‘I choose to’ or ‘I want to’ whichever appeals.

4. Rewrite your list again using these new statements.

If you would like help letting go of your negative thinking or help achieving the things in your list of the things you choose to do contact me to arrange an appointment.

 

By russell | Posted in Uncategorized | Comments (2)

Are you a liar?

January 9, 2012

Hiding how you truly feel..
And attempting to make everyone happy..
Doesn’t “really” make you nice..
It just makes you a liar.

By russell | Posted in Uncategorized | Comments (0)

Six surprising reasons to give up smoking…

December 29, 2011

The Mirror has published six surprising reasons to give up smoking which range from improving your eyes-sight, make you look younger and making your children happier.

Working with clients to help them quit smoking they are usually surprised at the benefits they find they didn’t expect over and above the obvious one like short and long term health, saving loads of money, more time, feel free from being controlled by cigarettes/smoking.

They also have an article on how to quit smoking for good which I found interesting.  I agree people smoke for different reasons hence there can be different approaches.  I help four clients stop smoking in one day  using hypnosis at my Cornwall hypnotherapy clinic (Truro and Helston) and do something very different with each one as we are all unique and people experience their habit and smoking in their own way, and they started in the first place for different reasons.

Whilst nicotine replacement patches etc. can be helpful I am seeing an increase in the number of people coming to see me to help them come off these as they do not deal with the underling psychological association with smoking that may be there.

It is good also they recommend hypnosis and seeing a hypnotherapist to help you stop.  There is plenty of evidence demonstrating the benefit of hypnosis to help you stop smoking.

If you think you are ready to quit smoking then contact me to see how I can help you achieve what you want at my Cornwall clinic (Truro and Helston).

 

 

 

 

 

By russell | Posted in stop smoking | Comments (0)

How to remember names with ease…

December 16, 2011

It was the end of the weekend and I had to hand a pack out to each of the attendees of the weekend course we had been running.  I was standing in the middle of the group looking at the name on the top pack…I had to now pass it to the person…I had just spent a weekend with them…but there were 20 of them was my excuse…’oh no, this is going to be very embarrassing’ I told myself.  How is it going to look if I remember some people’s names and not others…

I used to be notoriously bad at remembering peoples names.  It can be so useful to remember peoples name.  Imagine seeing someone for a second time and being able to recall their name with ease.  Having your name remembered by someone can lift you and enable you to feel more valued by that person.

Since that moment standing in front of the group passing out the named packs and die of embarrassment I have since learnt a technique that has helped me enormously.  I tested it afterwards at a weekend where we had about 40 people.  After having a brief conversation with each person I had all their names logged easily.  The others co-leading the weekend were still struggling at the end of the weekend.

This is the way I do it:

  1. When speaking to them and you have their name think of someone else you know with the same name.
  2. Put a feature of the other person you know with the same name on to the person you are speaking with.  For example, perhaps you are talking to a Douglas and you know another Douglas with a beard, imagine the Douglass you are talking to has the same beard.  It could be a beard, hair style, glasses or anything.
  3. If you cannot think of someone you know with the same name, you might be able to think of someone with a very similar name that will be close enough to jog you memory for the actual name.
  4. If you cannot think of a feature think of someone else with an association with the persons name.  For example if you are talking to a Mike you might picture a microphone on the top of his head or something like that.

This is a very visual way of doing it, there are others. For example if you are more of an auditory person you might find it useful to use their name as often as you can after being introduced and you may find that works for you.

Remembering peoples name be useful to you with the season of parties upon us!  Impress others with your recollection of the names of the new people you met!

By russell | Posted in learning, mind | Comments (4)

Short walk can cut snacking at work by half

December 8, 2011

A new study by the University of Exeter shows how a short walk can cut your snacking at work by a half:

ScienceDaily (Dec. 7, 2011) — A 15-minute walk can cut snacking on chocolate at work by half, according to research by the University of Exeter. The study showed that, even in stressful situations, workers eat only half as much chocolate as they normally would after this short burst of physical activity.

Published in the journal Appetite, the research suggests that employees may find that short breaks away from their desks can help keep their minds off snacking.

In the study, 78 regular chocolate-eaters were invited to enter a simulated work environment, after two days abstinence from chocolate snacking. Two groups were asked to take a brisk 15-minute walk on a treadmill and were then given work to complete at a desk. One group was given an easy, low-stress task, while the other was asked to complete a more demanding job. The other two groups were asked to have a rest before completing the same tasks as the first two groups. Again, half were given an easier task and the remainder a more challenging one. Chocolate was available in a bowl on the desk for all participants as they carried out their work.

Those who had exercised before working consumed on average half the amount of chocolate as the others: around 15 grammes, compared with 28 grammes. 15 grammes is equivalent to a small ‘treat size’ or ‘fun size’ chocolate bar.

The difficulty of the task made no difference to the amount of chocolate they ate, which suggests that stress did not contribute to their cravings for sweet snacks.

Lead researcher Professor Adrian Taylor of Sport and Health Sciences at the University of Exeter said: “We know that snacking on high calorie foods, like chocolate, at work can become a mindless habit and can lead to weight gain over time. We often feel that these snacks give us an energy boost, or help us deal with the stress of our jobs, including boredom. People often find it difficult to cut down on their daily treats but this study shows that by taking a short walk, they are able to regulate their intake by half.”

Exercise is known to have significant benefits for mood and energy levels and has potential for managing addictions. Professor Taylor and his colleagues at the University of Exeter have previously shown that exercise can curb cravings for chocolate but this is the first study to show a reduction in consumption.

 

By russell | Posted in weightloss | Comments (2)

Engaging with life fully

November 28, 2011

The season of Advent has begun…yes it means Christmas is getting closer which for many is a time when the stress levels increase. Although advent calendars begin on 1st December the season of Advent actually begins four Sundays before Christmas.  For the church calendar Advent is all about expectation, looking forward to what is coming, the celebrations of Christmas.   It can be great to have something to look forward to.

I used to work for an airline and we got free air travel on the unsold seats however you couldn’t plan too far in advance as you could never fully predict which routes would have empty seats when you wanted to travel.  For us it meant holidays tended to be last minute organising, although cheap!  We once went on skiing with friends on a coach.  One of the things I loved about that holiday was it was booked way in advance, no worrying about whether we would get seats or not and I could enjoy the build up, the expectation as it got closer, there was certainty to it happening.

Although we may not be aware of it our minds spend a lot of time thinking about the future and often not in joyous expectation.  Our minds spent a lot of time time-travelling in to the future, predicting future events, playing out scenarios to ‘prepare’ ourselves, thinking about all possibilities and eventualities.  This future thinking may be based on past experience so our mind also goes back in the the past as well as the future.  All this time travelling can be exhausting….and stress inducing.  Ekhart Tolle talks about getting caught up in the ‘content’ of the hear and now, which prevents you being in the present moment, that is what happens when you are time travelling.

If you feel stressed, anxious, nervous it probably means your mind is doing this time-travelling.  It means you are not fully present, in the present moment.   Stress, anxiety and nerves do not exist when you are fully in the present moment.  If there is a tiger in the room with you that is different, that is fear.

Gavin DeBecker, who wrote a book called the gift of fear, talks about fear as a survival mechanism allowing every rabbit, every gazelle, every Lion, every human being to access an incredibly powerful energy for getting into place of safety. He explains how fear is always to do with the present environment you are in.  And yet my guess is there are people reading this who maybe experiencing anxiety or worry about something, however that is not fear because fear always relates to something actual in the environment, right now. Whereas anxiety and worry relate to the past and the future.

DeBecker makes the point with this story.  If someone’s at an airport and they’re feeling stressed or afraid about getting on a plane, if it’s because of the scary news story they saw two weeks before where a plane got hijacked or crashed or something, that’s not fear. That is stress, anxiety or worry because its not present in the environment. But if it’s because they saw the pilot stumble out of the airport bar, and slur his speech as he crawled into the cockpit, that would be a genuine fear.

So fear only relates to real stuff in the environment, present stuff. Anything else is a stress, anxiety or a worry, relating the the past and future.

So how do you be more in the present and stop your mind time travelling the the future/past, fuelling your anxiety, worry or stress?  Here are some tips:

  1. Sit with your feet flat on the floor, in a comfortable, aligned position (spine straight, hands on your thighs or at your sides, breathing comfortably.) With your eyes open or closed, allow yourself to become aware of the different sounds, sights, smells and sensations around you. This is the present moment.
  2. Gently place the tip of your tongue against the roof of your mouth just behind your front teeth (continue to breathe easily.) Imagine you are holding a tiny droplet of oil between the tip of your tongue and the roof of your mouth. This stops your internal chatter, which can allow you to be more fully in the present moment.
  3. At any time you can bring your attention back to your breathing, your body which is always in the present moment.  Focus on your breath, noticing it, the depth, the pace, without controlling it just become fully aware of it.  This allows your mind to stop the time travelling the rest in the present moment.

Enjoy playing with these and beginning to notice how you start experiencing life in the present moment.  Enjoying each moment more fully whatever you are doing.  Being in the present moment will allow you to enjoy the season of Advent more fully and stress free!  To help me I adopt the phrase ‘everything is perfect’ – in that moment it is, it is only when we time travel and worry about consequences our experience of the moment changes.

 

 

 

 

By russell | Posted in stress | Tagged , | Comments (2)

4 life coaching questions for emotional freedom

November 21, 2011

I love being a life coach however sometimes I find my thoughts can be my worst life coach!  I often find myself telling myself stories.  Playing out a movie of my future life in my head.  Often this can be a disaster movie waiting for the hero to come and save me, however I am always left waiting – which can be rather stressful!  Then I wake up out of my daydreaming trance and recognise that it was all an illusion created by thought.  However if we are not careful our subconscious can start believing these illusions and we carry the affects in to our day to day experiences resulting in anxiety, stress, self doubt and lack of hope.  The illusions of thought is not the best life coach one can have!

The Work by Bryon Katie consists of asking yourself four questions to challenge your thinking. Our thinking creates our experience in life and it is just an illusion. It is not based on facts. Thought is not reality, it creates an illusion of reality.  These questions can coach you to having a sense of freedom and new lease of life.

The four life coach questions are:

  1. Is it true? Is this thought/belief true? Be still. Wait for the heart’s response.
  2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? Ultimately, can you really know it is true?
  3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? Do you experience anger, stress, frustration? How do you treat others? How do these reactions feel? How do you treat yourself? Does that thought bring stress or peace into your life? Be still as you listen.
  4. Who would you be without the thought? Close your eyes. Imagine your life without the thought. What do you see? What would your life look like without that thought?

Next, turn your statement around. The turnarounds are an opportunity to experience the opposite of what you believe to be true. You may find several turnarounds. Change the he/she/they to I. Change negatives to positives. 
For example, “Paul should understand me” turns around to:

  • I should understand me.
  • I should understand Paul.
  • Paul shouldn’t understand me.

Let yourself fully experience the turnarounds. For each one, find at least three genuine, specific examples in your life where the turnaround is true. This is not about blaming yourself or feeling guilty. It’s about discovering alternatives that can let go of stress, anxiety or doubt that the thinking was creating and bring you peace.

Here is an example

Statement: I am not good enough to be a success at what I really want to do in life

Is it true? Yes it is, I truly believe it

What’s the reality? I haven’t really done it so I don’t really know whether I would be a success or not.

Can I really know that is true? No. Not until I have given it my best shot and done all I can do succeed.

How do I react when I believe the thought [I cannot be a success]? Cheated, by myself.  Cheating myself out of doing what I would love to do.

What does it feel like to believe the thought? I feel angry, I feel the anger flooding my body.

How do I treat others when I think [I cannot be a success]? I let my anger affect the way I speak to them when it is nothing to do with them.  It comes out in my tone of voice.

How do I treat myself when I think [I cannot be a success]? I give up on myself and stop caring for myself fully thinking what’s the point.

Can I see a reason to drop the thought [I cannot be a success]? Absolutely.  I can see how it is damaging me and my relationships.

Rewritten statement turned around: I am good enough to be a success in what I would love to do.

Play with the four questions and be open to shift in your mindset which may allow your body to breathe in a new sense of life.    Contact me if you think I can help you with your journey. Sometimes having a coach to help us create the life we want can be incredibly useful as we often cannot see what right under our nose.

 

By russell | Posted in performance, Project You | Tagged , , | Comments (2)

Nocebo affect

November 14, 2011

I love this video of Dr Bruce Lipton explaining how our thoughts can affect us physcially and how the nocebo affect works. The noecbo affect is the same as the placebo affect except that the thoughts are of a negative nature. What we don’t talk about is how a negative thought is as powerful as a positive thought and the placebo affect except in the opposite direction.

By russell | Posted in Uncategorized | Comments (2)

Mind tricks

November 4, 2011

I have come back to London from Cornwall for a couple of days to attend a exhibition.  It was quite a last minute decision to attend and it was only worth my while doing so if I have enough CDs of my fertility hypnosis program to show people and give to clinics.   It has been a fraught week with lots of potential stress and it was going to cutting it fine to get the CDs produced in time however it was possible…except for some reason I was convinced it was going to go horribly wrong!

I lay awake last night convinced the CDs would be in the wrong format because I wasn’t perhaps clear to them that I wanted them to convert the file I provided.  I replayed the conversation I had with them over and over.  Because my thinking was telling me this problem was real, my mind looked for all the evidence to back it up, interpreting the conversation and subsequent email in a way that re-inforced the belief – keeping me awake in the process!  This is how stress works.

Thankfully I reminded myself that I didn’t know that was true.  My mind was mixing the lethal combination of imagination and insecurity.   I felt insecure about it because I don’t like working in such a last minute and rushed way.  These two together can send you down a rabbit hole of reality…an Alice in Wonderland reality!  The thing is,  at the time it is so convincing!  This is because your thoughts are telling you they are as result of this ‘reality’ not the creator of it.

Thankfully I was able to remind myself of this.  I didn’t know it had gone wrong.  What if it had?  It was not the end of the world.  Also, it wasn’t as if worrying about it was going to change it.  That’s another thing.  Think about what you worry about.  Is it something you can influence or not?  Too often we spend time worrying about things out of our control – how mad is that!

So, what stories are your thoughts telling you?

Oh, and the CDs arrived and they are just right!

 

 

 

 

By russell | Posted in stress | Tagged | Comments (2)

© Russell Davis 2011